For Better Or Worse

Every mother always says that nothing good happens after midnight. Well I can gaurentee that nothing good happens after midnight, or before 9 o'clock in the morning. Too bad I stayed up way past midnight and woke to a knock on my door at 8:30. I guess when my boyfriend explained that his friends would be here to drop off their 7 month old daughter by 9, I should have actually taken note of it and set an alarm. And tried that whole self discipline thing earlier in the evening. But life is a learning experience, so instead I chose to learn from my mistakes and stagger to open the door with a very peppy, very fake, game face. But anyway, that is just how the day started. I planned to get right in the shower after they picked up their daughter at 1, but instead I chose to make some lunch to quiet the growl coming from my stomach. I also planned to go into town to pick up a pair of sneakers with the money I earned babysitting a few times before, but instead I listened to the text message from my boyfriend saying he was going to go with me to get sneakers tomorrow, and then take me running. Here's the deal--I don't run, especially not outside. And I sure as hell don't run along side of a fit, tough, determined marine. And as much as I try to explain this to him, the harder he pushes for me to let him "help". Damn do I hate that word. Help. It has always intimidated me. Every time I had accepted "help" in the past, I ended up picking up the pieces not long afterward. I've come to find that it's easier to just do it yourself. That way if it falls apart you are only disappointing yourself and depending on yourself. There's no one else to blame. But I guess this whole "help" thing comes as part of the big "relationship" package. Another thing I am adjusting to. See he likes to use the word "us" alot, and while I love hearing it--it's taking some time to get my mouth to form the word so easily. Don't think any of this means I don't want to be a part of the "us"--it's just I'm not so used to being invited in to fully. But just because it's taking time, doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Love can do anything right? I mean, after all......